*Woman Shot in her own Driveway*
Linda Burnett, 26, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws
and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway
with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind
the back of her head.
He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that
Linda’s eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her
if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back
of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her
in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough
and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that
could all be a coincidence.
The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date
was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush’s fault.