NFL Teams Name Change

NFL Teams Name Change

No matter which side you are on in this matter, this is funny. This guy is hilarious… Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page…

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. I would suggest, as in an email I received, they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.

I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.  If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive. Gone. It’s offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy?  No!  There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names.  Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children.  The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits.   Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go.  We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should.  Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.

As for the die hard Oregon State fans, with all of this in mind, I would suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers.”

College Football Scouting Report from Headlines

As the regular high school football season draws to a close, the latest National Sportswriters Association has released its preliminary report on the leading prospects available to college recruiting representatives. In addition to a full scholarship award and tutorial assistance, it should be noted that all the below listed prospects have filed for “supplemental monetary aid” for campus expenses as well as “transportation assistance” for expedient mobility to and from classes and the practice field in the form of 2015 models of: Corvette, BMW 523, Cadillac STXCoup, and Ford Mustang GT, all with dark tinted glass.
This year’s stalwarts are:

COLLEGE FOOTBALL SCOUTING REPORT

QUlNTlLlOUS JENKlNS
6′ 3″, 220 lbs.  Running Back.  Set state scoring record out of Triton High School , Dunn , N.C.    Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions.  He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19″ TV under each arm.  Signed with Mississippi State .

WAYFRON P. JACKSON
6′ 6″, 215 lbs.  Wide Receiver.  Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years.  Currently holds world record for the most “you knows” during an interview (62 in one minute).  Wayfron can print his complete name.  Signed with Tennessee .

ROOSEVELT “DUDE” DANSELL
6′ 1″, 195 lbs.  Running Back.  From Tyler , Texas .  Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well.  Listed his church preference as “red brick”.  Signed with the University of Houston .

WOODROW LEE WASHINGTON
6′ 8″, 310 lbs.  Tackle.  From a 4th generation welfare family.  At 19 he’s the oldest of 21 children.  Mother claims Woodrow and child No. 9 have same father.  He has a manslaughter trial pending, but feels he will be found innocent because:  “The dude said sumpin’ bad ’bout my Momma”.  On his entrance form, he listed his IQ as 20/20. Signed with the University of Texas .

WlLLIE “NIGHT TRAIN” JONES
6′ 4″, 225 lbs.  Quarterback.  Born on an Amtrak train.  Birth certificate indicates he is 24 years old.  Thinks the “N” on Nebraska ‘s helmets stands for “Nowledge” but still meets this school’s stringent entrance requirements.  Signed with the University of Oregon .

TYRONE “PYTHON” PEOPLES
6′ 10″, 228 lbs.  Wide Receiver.  Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.  Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.  Signed with University of Miami .

ABDUL HASHEEN ABBA ALI
6′ 10″, 305 lbs.  Guard.  Played high school ball under the name Fro’ Leester Ja’ Charles Jones until he discovered religion.  Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville , FL.    Signed with the University of Florida .
===========================================

NOTE:  College track coaches intend to use several of the above signees in their track programs.  However, instead of using a starting pistol at track meets, the NCAA has now agreed to use a burglar alarm instead.